Saturday, November 7, 2015

Why Are There Ten Commandments?

One of the most commonly voiced criticisms of Judaism is that it pays too much attention to details; that it is obsessed with hairsplitting and legalities. An initial look at Jewish law appears to justify this claim. The Torah comprises 613 commandments, divided into 365 prohibitions and 248 obligations, with hundreds of rabbinical decrees and customs that govern every aspect of life. There are volumes upon volumes of detailed guidelines specifying how one should dress, eat, work and even talk. Of course, no individual Jew is obligated to fulfill all the commandments — unless that Jew is both male and female; single, married and divorced; Kohen, Levi and Israelite. All simultaneously. This intricate structure can definitely give one the impression that the Torah is overly legalistic and that it places excessive demands on human beings without leaving them enough freedom to relax and enjoy life. Judaism’s seeming obsession with laws and technicalities also makes one wonder about the point of it all. How does not eating lobster make one a better person? Why would lighting Shabbat candles bring one closer to God? In order to comprehend why Jews have tenaciously adhered to this way of life for close to 3,500 years, we must gain a better understanding of the purpose of the commandments, called in Hebrew mitzvot (singular, mitzvah). Being Like God We believe that our primary obligation as beings created “in the image of God” (Genesis 1:27) is to imitate God and to “walk in His ways” (Deut. 28:9). What does this mean? The Sages defined the goal this way: Just as He is merciful and kind, so you should be merciful and kind. Just as He clothed the naked, so should you; as He visited the sick, so should you; as He comforted the mourners, so should you; as He buried the dead, so should you. (Talmud - Sotah 14a; Jerusalem Talmud - Peah 3:1) Each of the above statements refers to an instance in the Bible in which God demonstrated these qualities. The Sages are indicating that just as a parent teaches a child by doing rather than by preaching, God intentionally incorporated these instances into the Bible to teach us the behavior He expects of us. Although Maimonides lists the obligation of “walking in God’s ways” as just one of the 613 commandments, it is also understood in the general sense as an underlying rationale for every one of the commandments. In order to have a complete relationship with God it is necessary that we be as “Godlike” as possible. We must develop a similar intellectual framework, inculcating in ourselves the attributes of God, and act as He acts. Imitating the Creator is not an easy task and it is not always obvious what “being good” really entails in a given situation. You may want to extend help to a needy person, but what is the best form for this kindness to take? Should you give him money, a loan, or a job? Should you give a large sum to one person, or small sums to many? How much of your own income is it appropriate to give? To address these complexities, God provided us with the ultimate guide to becoming like Him — the 613 commandments with all their attendant details. Human Refinement Judaism accepts as axiomatic that neither the human being nor the world in which he lives is perfect. Rather, just as this world is incomplete and designed to be perfected, the human being is also designed to strive for perfection. The Midrash (Tanchuma, Tazria 5) recounts a discussion concerning this idea between Rabbi Akiva and the Roman official Turnus Rufus: Turnus Rufus asked Rabbi Akiva, “What is better, the deeds of God or the deeds of man? If you say the deeds of man are better, then you are a heretic! If you say the deeds of God are better, then why do you circumcise your children? If God wanted them circumcised, why are they not born without a foreskin?”
Which is better – raw wheat or cake?
Instead of answering directly, Rabbi Akiva showed Turnus Rufus a stalk of wheat and a piece of cake and asked him, “Which do you think is better? The deeds of God (the inedible, raw stalk of wheat) or the deeds of man (the delicious cake)?” The Roman was forced to admit that the deeds of man were better. Rabbi Akiva demonstrated to Turnus Rufus that just as the wheat is inedible until it goes through many steps of refinement and is turned into bread or cake, the human being also needs refinement and perfection physically, morally and spiritually. The purpose of the commandments is to refine the human being and bring him closer and closer to perfection. Several ideas related to this process are expressed in a seemingly simple verse in Proverbs (30:5): “All the commandments of God are tzerufah(refined).” The Midrash explains that the purpose of the commandments is the process called tziruf. (Midrash Rabbah, Genesis 44:1) The Hebrew word tzerufah (from which tziruf derives grammatically) bears two opposing explanations. Depending on the context, the word can mean smelted, as in the method employed to separate the ore from metal through the application of heat. Alternatively, it can mean joining, as in soldering, where heat is used to join metals. In the present verse, these two explanations are to be taken metaphorically: i.e., God’s commandments represent the source of heat, and the person represents the metal. Just as heat burns away waste matter, God gave us 365 prohibitions (“thou shalt not”s) to help eliminate the negative character traits contained within a person. And just as heat has the power to merge metals together, God gave us 248 obligations (“thou shalt”s) to consolidate positive traits and to connect human beings to a higher level of consciousness. That humans need refinement is not a novel concept. Look at any infant: Is he or she a finished product? In our society, children receive 13 years of schooling before they are expected to contend with the challenges of life. Judaism believes that learning how to perfect oneself (and how to perfect the world) takes even longer — an entire lifetime of training. All of us know adults who have yet to make the transition from infancy to adulthood. Their actions are governed by the instincts of a newborn baby. If they think that an object or a position or a title belongs to them, then by definition it must be theirs, and they will stop at nothing to obtain it. This adult code of behavior, “The Infant Rules of Ownership,” is employed liberally at every level of our society. When a small child wakes up in the early hours of the morning feeling thirsty, he cannot see beyond his basic human instincts, which tell him, “Thirsty — water — drink!” He does not think of his exhausted parents dragging themselves out of a deep sleep in order to bring him a cup of water (without which he could survive for a few hours). Compassion and consideration for others is not a built-in human instinct — it has to be learned and internalized. And like any other complex skill, the only way to master it is through intense training and self-conditioning. But where can a person take a course on compassion? This is where the mitzvot of the Torah come in — they are God-given tools for refinement. Prohibitions enable people to identify their negative instincts and distance themselves from them, while obligations help channel their positive instincts toward becoming better people. Consciousness versus Instinct Another purpose of the mitzvot is to educate people to act consciously, rather than going through their lives on automatic pilot. God wants thinking beings to serve Him, not mindless robots. This is one explanation of what appears to be a strange statement by Rabbi Shimon ben Gamliel: A person should not say, “I do not like meat and milk mixtures...” Rather, he should say, “I would like them, but what can I do? My Father in Heaven has decreed upon me not to partake of them.” The Talmud (Chullin 109b) explains that Jews refrain from eating pork or meat and milk mixtures, not because they find such dishes offensive or unpalatable, but rather because God forbade them to partake of such foods. The Talmud suggests that a Jew should think, “Pork probably tastes excellent; however God has forbidden me to partake of it.” The first time I read the Dr. Seuss book Green Eggs and Ham to one of my children, he or she always asks, “Abba, what is ham?” (For some reason, the child’s mind is not bothered by green eggs; the school cafeteria probably plays a role in this.) I answer that ham is the meat of a pig. Their response is usually, “Uggh, yuck!” At this point I tell them that ham probably tastes very good and that billions of people eat it all the time. I try to emphasize that the reason we do not eat it is not due to its “bad” taste, but because God forbade us to. I believe that Rabbi Shimon ben Gamliel would approve of my response. We could condition our children to be repelled by ham (yuck, gross!) but then we would merely have kosher robots, or mitzvah machines. This is far from the Torah ideal, which is for thinkers who make decisions about what to do or not to do based on moral commitments, not gut feelings. The commandments are designed to develop people’s ability to serve God consciously, encouraging us not to rely on instinct, but to exercise our power of free will. Revelation I once met a student in California whose major in college was “Revelation.” The goal of such a degree was a mystery to me, as was the curriculum. After speaking with the student about the course, it still remained a mystery. I mentally filed it with a long list of useless college courses, like “Empowering Women With Eating Disorders Through Fairy Tales and Native American Dance Movement Therapy.” The founder of the Chassidic movement, the Baal Shem Tov, used to say that one has an obligation to learn from everything and everyone, so I tried to learn something from this encounter. After some consideration, it occurred to me that in reality, every Jew is majoring in revelation — our goal is to reveal the presence of God in this world of concealment. The process of revelation is indeed a primary aim of the commandments. On a mystical level, when we fulfill these commandments we reveal the attributes and presence of God in every aspect of space and time. For example, by doing an altruistic deed, we introduce into the world an aspect of God’s image that was previously concealed: I.e., when a person gives selflessly to another, he is demonstrating that he has a soul (that imitates its Creator), and he is not merely a physical being concerned with his own survival. Upon encountering a truly righteous individual, one recognizes that this person is not merely a “naked ape,” but a being created “in the image of God.”
The table is not an eating trough, but a vehicle for holiness.
Similarly, when we use a physical object to perform a mitzvah, we reveal the concealed spark of Godliness that is contained in that object. When a tree is used to produce paper for a book that inspires someone to reach for higher spiritual and moral levels, the ultimate purpose of that tree — its “spark of Godliness” — becomes obvious to us. When a dining-room table is used as a place for hospitality, kindness and words of Torah, the “spark of Godliness” in that table has become more obvious. It is no longer merely a utensil for eating — a type of trough — rather it is a vehicle for holiness. Sometimes, by showing that everything in creation has a common goal and purpose in its existence we can reveal the idea that this unified, harmonious whole was created by a unified Being. Thus, every mitzvah that a person performs reveals another facet of God’s existence and introduces it into the human plane of consciousness. Conversely, if a person acts in a selfish, hedonistic manner, blindly following his baser instincts, his behavior conceals the image of God and emphasizes the animal component of the human. One contemporary American politician is known by the nickname “The Body.” This person, to my surprise, was actually elected governor of a state, despite the fact that the qualities of a leader would probably be better found in someone whose nickname were “The Brain,” “The Soul,” or “The Heart,” rather than “The Body.” Our obligation in life is to act in such a way that we deserve to be nicknamed “The Soul,” not merely “The Body.” The principal way in which we emphasize the spiritual component of humanity, time and space is by fulfilling the commandments. Through the mitzvot we engage in the process of revelation, of uncovering elements of Godliness in the world and the image of God within ourselves. The Final Score In summary, then, the purposes of the commandments/mitzvot are to:
  • Become Godlike: to establish and deepen our relationship with God through imitation of Him.
  • Refine humanity by helping people to eliminate their negative traits, strengthen their positive traits and connect them to a higher level of consciousness.
  • Train people to act consciously as opposed to instinctively. This conditions us to make conscious decisions and not to go through life on autopilot.
  • Reveal the unity, presence and the name of God in every aspect of the physical world — thought, speech, place, time and action.
Click here to order a copy of Gateway to Judaism: The What, How and Why of Jewish Life.   Source: http://www.aish.com/jl/m/pm/Why_Are_There_Commandments.html By Rabbi Mordechai Becher Excerpted from Gateway to Judaism: The What, How and Why of Jewish Life. Read more...

Friday, November 6, 2015

How Do You Convert To Judaism 2/2 (video)

This video is the second of two videos responding to a question regarding conversion to Judaism. Read more...

Thursday, November 5, 2015

How Do you Convert To Judaism? 1/2 (video)

This video is a response to a question regarding Jewish conversion. That question is answered in the 2nd video. This video is more of an introduction to the Jewish philosophy. Read more...

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks on Free Will (video)

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, one of the world's greatest Jewish scholars and contemporary thinkers, offers insights on Free Will in Judaism. Read more...

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Neshama's Prayer To Go to School

      It's only the middle of the year but it's time to update you on our dear daughter Neshama. Neshma is 9 and old readers know from last year's drama both with her burn (a pot of boiling french fry oil spilled on her chest.) with her struggles in school. Thank G-d she is doing amazing. Happy, reading, discovering. We found out that she needs glasses are looking into Irlen lenses for her. She is working hard and so proud of herself. Now, we've been informed by the school, we need to decide if we'll be sending her next year. Neshama at The Science Fair   On one hand, how can we not? This is what she needs. On the other hand, how can we, it's so much money! Seeing how far she's come, from absolute misery to absolute light is encouraging us to give this a try. And seeing how many people care is giving us courage to put this fundraiser out there. Watch this video to find out about her school. Below is the text from the fundraiser we are making for her. Above is a video of her reading. She says to tell you that it's cheating a little because she's so familiar with it. On Friday nights we read this prayer together, taking turns with each paragraph. Still... she does a great job. I hope you can help. We definitely need a miracle. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Mommy and Neshama   If you want you can skip the text below and just click here to see the real thing: Last year you changed our lives. When we decided to do a fundraiser for Neshama’s schooling we were at our wit’s end. We had watched her go from a bright and happy child to a clinically depressed one due to her learning disabilities and we were desperate for an intervention. We took a risk. And the support that we received makes me cry as I write this. How are people so amazing?! Bezalel and I would sit for nights after, looking at the names of the people who donated. “Wow, I didn’t know they cared.” And “Who are those people, can you believe they gave to us? “ We were overwhelmed. Neshama knows it. She says to people all the time. “I have Dyslexia, I go to Jemicy, it took tons of people got together to help me get there.” In the mornings when it’s hard for her to get up, I remind her how lucky she is and how we must use every day there. She hasn’t skipped a day. Thank G-d, this year has exceeded our expectations. Neshama is learning how to read! She’s 9 now and her writing is improving too. Jemicy seems to be tailor made for her giving her the confidence to bounce back into the child that she was meant to be. She feels successful in school for the first time in her life. In Hebrew there’s a term for gratitude, Dayenu; it would have been enough. Which means, we’re so grateful that even if we only had this one kindness and not a single one more, it would have been enough. Even if she only had this one transformative year we would be filled to the brim with the miracle of it all. The only problem is that for her, it’s not Dayenu. It’s not enough. Not really. She is still two or three grades behind. If this year is her last year at Jemicy, there is no other school for her. This will be it. What will be with her? We’re at a crossroads. We are looking to the future with profound uncertainty. What will become of her future? Will she go back into depression? Her old school is not an option. Will she be at home all year? I don’t know. Jemicy tuition is just over 32,000 with $3,000 due immediately and the remaining amount needs to be made in two payment byDecember 2015. Under normal circumstances, this would be prohibitive. Now that we’ve lost our business, it’s not even a topic. If we aren’t able to give a significant amount at the beginning we have no guarantees that we’ll be able to come up with the rest. The number is enormous but is matched by the level of intensity and attention to each child. Although some kids attend Jemicy for many years, many kids get the skills they need and are able to mainstream back into other schools. This is our hope for her; That we get through this year and maybe the next and set her on the road for a successful life. Every child deserves to succeed. Since our last fundraiser we have gone out of our way to support and help others with the same issue. We have spoken with parents and helped them set up fundraisers and advocated whenever we can. But this one is ours. She’s looking to us to make it all okay. Can you help us send Neshama to school next year? Thank you, thank you, thank you! Bezalel and Rivka Malka and Neshama PS. We would love to send you a copy of this prayer if you would like. It is said, that the greatest way to achieve miracles is through gratitude ( vs complaining about what we don't have.) And we have seen this to be true again and again. After you donate, just put your address in the comments area or send us an email at itsrivkamalka@gmail.com and Neshama will use her spring break this week to send one to you! Click here for Neshama's YouCaring page Read more...

Monday, November 2, 2015

Passover in Africa

  It was early in the morning a couple of months go when my husband got the text. “Great deals to South Africa.” It wasn’t unusual for him to get a text like that bc he’s signed up to Dan’s Deals. Dan is a guy who hunts for amazing deals and then sends them out to anyone on his list free of charge. What was unusual was how cheap the tickets were and the fact that they were available over Passover!
In the Airport

In the Airport

Meanwhile, out in NY, Bezalel’s brothers received the same text. Within minutes there was a flurry of phone calls and crazy dreams turned into plans. We calculated that with these crazy cheap tickets it would be the same cost as making Pesach at home. Not only that but we’d get t be with family! We were going to South Africa. Not only us, but almost all my brothers in laws and sister in laws and their families too! We would all be going to visit Chev and Paul, our sister and brother out in SA.
My nephew Yosef  - the international traveler!

My nephew Yosef - the international traveler!

The timing couldn't have been better. In the early years we would all get together at my mother in laws house where she would host 20 or more of us for the whole week of Pesach. It was delightful insanity; kids, matzha, singing into the night…. Later on, we were the hosts and the entire entourage moved in with us. More recently though, as the kids grow up, families have started wanting to have their own Seder. Everyone loves being with family but there is something to having a father at the head of the table leading his children in his traditions. And there’s something about going from being a guest to owning the experience by being a host. Things were beginning to change. So to have this chance to recapture that togetherness was amazing. My son installed a counter on my phone and every day it told me how many days left until our trip. And now, after weeks of planning, we are here!   The flight that was available traveled through Abu Dhabui in the United Arab Emirates. We traveled on Etihad airlines. The flight started out with a Traveler’s Prayer which we thought was pretty cool because we also say one when we go on a trip. This may sound silly but one thing we couldn’t get over was the Stewardess’s outfits! My girls and I are always on the lookout for beautiful modest clothing and these uniforms were gorgeous! We had a stopover in Abu Dhabi for 14 hours and there was a hotel right there in the airport so we never left the building.
In the hotel - note the portraits behind us

In the hotel - note the portraits behind us

  Being there left me with a multitude of impressions. The burka’s were scary. Seeing only a woman’s eyes and nothing else makes for true invisibility. The black material swishing around them added a sense of black mystery. On the other hand it felt good to be in place that understood the importance of prayer and dietary needs. As Jews ( and a big group at that) we were pretty conspicuous with my tichel and the boy’s yarmulkas and we got a lot of stares but nothing too outrageous. Of course, my sister in law with an Israeli passport wouldn’t even be allowed into the country ( they don’t recognize that document.) So she found a place to sleep with her family that was in the airport before the Passport control.
On the bus in the United Arab Emirates

On the bus in the United Arab Emirates

As we exited the airport we found ourselves in an empty corridor and the guys started singing Pesach songs.Loaded up with our luggage and kids in tow, ( matzah and paper goods for 38 ppl a meal!) it definitely felt like an Exodus! The song is from the Hagada that we read at the Seder; it goes "THIS is what has stood ( held strong) for us and our forefathers, that so many tried to destroy but The Holy One saved us from their hands." Rivka Malka THIS means so much. It means, this Torah, these traditions. It means this faith and hope no mater what. And it also means THIS; this family, these ties that we hold so dear, this devotion to each other no matter how busy life gets, no matter how different we all are, THIS has kept us strong and has stood the test of time. We got up early this morning, jet lagged and happy on the other side of the world. I have limited internet here but I’ll try and post pics and keep you in the loop as we eat matzah in Africa and play with lions on the Safari. Rivka Malka   PS If you liked that song - you can hear the whole thing here. https://youtu.be/KKV07h85lHY  Q. What keeps YOUR family going? Read more...

Sunday, November 1, 2015

My New Blog

    Hi Everyone, I'm having blog troubles. Things aren't loading properly and  it won't let me post pictures. (I've been trying for the past week.) I've actually been wanting to update my blog and I've been working on it for the past little while. So the timing's pretty good, because it will make me finish that process sooner. Here are somethings I'm adding based on your feedback: -A white background ( instead of black) to make it easier to read - An Ask RM feature where you can send me a voice text with any question you want. (Fun!) - Links to articles on basic Jewish philosophy. - Bigger pictures And an overall cleaner look. I'm really excited! Even though it's not finished yet and all the archives are't moved over I'm planning on going to go live in a couple of days. As I go forward I would REALLY like your feedback. I want to be of most value to you. Bringing value to people is what drives me. And even though we've had some great conversations, there's so much more for me to know about what matters to you. A lot of blogs are very specific; fashion advice, business, advice, spiritual guidance etc...  or a personal sharing about a particular journey. this blog is different, it's a place for women. And women are complex. We are all about all kinds of things at once! Can you please take a minute to answer these 5 questions ? They are short and mostly multiple choice and it will give me a chance to hear your voice more clearly. Thank you!! And now, the questionnaire! http://goo.gl/forms/a1D63RQh0A       Read more...