Sunday, January 31, 2016

When Rebbitzen Jungreis Came to Town

https://youtu.be/U_B2UAWtFDQ “She’s a great dresser.” It was a strange comment for a Rabbi to make. Let alone about a woman in her 70’s. But if you saw Rebbitzen Jungreis, standing on the stage the other night – you would agree. It wasn’t what she wore, it was how she wore it. Black sequins – simple enough – but her inner grace and her sheer presence – made her simply stunning. The red velvet curtains that were her backdrop outlined the strength of character on her face and the dignity in her every motion. Why talk about how she looks; this tiny lioness? Because she is a Queen. Because very few people in their life time get to see royalty in its essence. To me, a Queen is like the letter Aleph – with one hand stretched above, connecting her to her Source and the other below, giving to her people. This is Rebbitzen Esther Jungreis. She has spent a lifetime posed exactly in that stance. It’s no accident that her name is Esther, like the Queen in the Purim story. ------------------------------------------------ Esther Jungreis Esther Jungries has lived out my fantasy. Or perhaps, I created my dreams based on her story. In 1973, Esther, a survivor of the Bergen Belson concentration camps, a young married woman looked at the state of American Jewry and cried. She thought about what she could do. She thought about how she could help. And all at once, this lone woman ran to her father, a great man, and said, “I want to fill Madison Square Garden with Jews! I want to gather them together and remind them of who we are. I want to say Shema Yisroel with thousands of my people. I want to bring them home.” And that’s what this Little Giant did. With no special VIP pass and no fancy titles, she booked the hall and filled it with glory. (The recording above is from that 1974 event. Its one of 4, make sure to hear the other ones - here’s 2 of 4 https://youtu.be/0GKnEtZL9VY That’s my dream – to awaken the hearts of Jews. But before I can, I must ask myself – “am I awake?” Am I AWAKE!!? ---------------------------- Esther Jungries, just one month after hip surgery, sat on a plane for three hours waiting for it to take off. And when it didn’t, she sat in the car for another four driving to Baltimore. Why? To WAKE US UP! “Wake up!” she cried. “I look around and I see 1938. I see Jews everywhere sleeping, ignoring the signs. I looked at a copy of the 1938 Warsaw Gazzette in and do you know what I saw there? The Yiddishe Theatre, advertisments…. Nothing, NOTHING about Hitler. They didn’t want to see, they were sleeping. And now we hear news every day and we say ‘Oh please, it’s nothing.’ An earthquake in New York? Children being gunned down in school? A Hurricane that wipes out homes and electricity for weeks? Tsunamis? Tragedies? We say ‘Oh please! Its just more bad news.” “G-d is talking to us, He’s sending us clear messages. My heart is so heavy when I see what’s going on. Why does history have to repeat itself, when will we learn?” -------------------------------- Rebbitzen, Rebbitzen, we hear you! We ourselves can’t bear it. We know the world has gone crazy but what should we do? The Rebbitzen quoted the Yalkut Shemoni - there are three things a person must do to ready himself for the End of Days. 1. Make Torah your business. Don’t just take a class – live it. Learn it, love it, practice it, breathe it. Make your life a life of Torah. 2. Do acts of loving kindness. Step out of the world of me, me, me and into “how can I make my fellow man happy.” 3. Eat Shalosh Seudos – The Third Meal on Shabbos afternoon. When the Jews left Egypt only 1/5 of them survived. The rest persished in the Plague of Darkness. Those were Jews who had assimilated. The worshipped the Gods of Egypt. They weren’t worthy of leaving. And do you know why? Because in their heart of hearts the didn’t want to go. They didn’t want to leave behind Egyptian culture. Today, we are in the Plague of Darkness. G-d has even taken away our money – the 21st century God. She spoke about loving-kindness and smiling. “smile with two eyes, not just with your lips. Put your whole self in the smile that you are giving to another. I learned to smile in Bergen Belson. When we arrived there, my father, the Tzaddik, said to us “kinderlach, children, smile. When grown-ups see young children smiling it will give them hope. And so, I learned to smile even when my heart was in pain. A young girl once asked me, ‘Rebbitzen, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? You are always smiling, where does your smile begin? In your lips or in your heart?’ I thought about it. “It begins in my lips. I give my very best to the other person, even though my heart may not be feeling it. Then it travels to the other persons heart and from there, it comes back and warms my heart.” “Smile with two eyes.” “Call your parents and wish them a good Shabbos. Look up from your cellphone when a grandparent enters the room.” She spoke about Shalosh Seudos. Do you know why it’s so special? Friday night we have a meal. Who wouldn’t want such a meal? Candllight, hot food. What a way to end the week. Shabbos morning, it’s nice, it’s wonderful, we enjoy. But Sholosh Seudos on Shabbos afternoon? Who wants to eat? You’re full. That meal, you eat for Hashem. That meal you eat because it gives Hashem pleasure, its not for your stomach, for your pleasure. You know, in my neighborhood, on Shabbos afternoon, I give a talk about the Parsha (Torah portion of the week.) Afterwards I walk home. And it’s a long walk. When I get home, I’m tired. I’m a widow, I live alone, I would like to take a rest. But you know what I do? I take my two little challah rolls and I make a bracha on them and I eat – for my King. I eat for Him and I recite a Psalm. “G-d is my Shepherd I shall not lack…..” The Rebbitzen cried as she spoke. She begged and she pleaded. She rebuked us and she loved us. “ I love you all, you are all my children.” Tears fell from her eyes and her voice crackled and sighed. She blessed us again and again, as if no amount of blessing would be good enough for us. And then, from an audience that had been held by her every word for a heart stopping hour, she left - to the thunderous applause of 400 wide awake souls. Read more...

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Beautiful Corals and Clear Waters

Quisque metus justo, tincidunt fringilla feugiat vitae, rhoncus et sem. Proin ac ultrices leo, nec dapibus tortor. Maecenas a felis viverra, bibendum nisi ac, malesuada neque. Nulla non aliquam orci. Fusce sit amet mi pulvinar, luctus eros eu, blandit odio. Vestibulum finibus malesuada mauris quis auctor. Donec a tincidunt mi. Donec ac elit massa. Suspendisse tristique elit sit amet eros egestas suscipit. Integer ullamcorper iaculis varius. Morbi et egestas ipsum, ac gravida ante. Vestibulum at massa orci. Cras mollis mauris sit amet scelerisque interdum. Praesent consectetur lectus sed purus consequat rutrum. Read more...

Can Jewish Women be Public Figures?An Epilogue to the Esther Jungreis Post

I talk here about struggling with public speaking and other forms of leadership  in front of men, and you may be thinking , "Hu? what's the big deal?" The internet has made my question even stronger because whatever I put out is fair game for anyone to look at. Which means equal parts yay! and ugh! Did you know  that sacredness is the hallmark of Jewish life? Sacredness means that everything is special - and its specialness is brought out by being in the right time and place. Which brings me to my quandary. "The glory of the woman is with in her innerness." The Midrash tells us that when G-d fashioned Eve, as He created each limb, He implored and directed"be modest, be modest." So if modesty is women's most primary quality, I wondered if I was messing with how I'm supposed to be, by stepping out - by being so public. And I do believe that my primary work is in my home. So how do I make sense of it? I also have some awesome friends who share similar qualities as me. ( I lovingly call it - a big mouth - in all the best ways.) Outgoing, strong women who have a lot to say and have big dreams. We struggle sometimes with putting it all together - the contrast between the image of the soft spoken nurturer  and the reality of this dancing fire inside of us that doesn't let us sit still. ( If you're one of those women, read this article  for a very clear Torah view) If you listened to the video above, you'll see how I got my answer. I still don't understand it fully - but I now feel free to go in the direction that G-d is sending me. Qualification - I am not talking here about anything that breaks with Jewish tradition , such a female pulpit Rabbi's.  This inquiry is all with  the boundaries  of Jewish law and Torah guidelines. https://youtu.be/kU2ZIDqSYQk Read more...

Friday, January 29, 2016

Can Jewish Women be Public Figures?An Epilogue to the Esther Jungreis Post

I talk here about struggling with public speaking and other forms of leadership  in front of men, and you may be thinking , "Hu? what's the big deal?" The internet has made my question even stronger because whatever I put out is fair game for anyone to look at. Which means equal parts yay! and ugh! Did you know  that sacredness is the hallmark of Jewish life? Sacredness means that everything is special - and its specialness is brought out by being in the right time and place. Which brings me to my quandary. "The glory of the woman is with in her innerness." The Midrash tells us that when G-d fashioned Eve, as He created each limb, He implored and directed"be modest, be modest." So if modesty is women's most primary quality, I wondered if I was messing with how I'm supposed to be, by stepping out - by being so public. And I do believe that my primary work is in my home. So how do I make sense of it? I also have some awesome friends who share similar qualities as me. ( I lovingly call it - a big mouth - in all the best ways.) Outgoing, strong women who have a lot to say and have big dreams. We struggle sometimes with putting it all together - the contrast between the image of the soft spoken nurturer  and the reality of this dancing fire inside of us that doesn't let us sit still. ( If you're one of those women, read this article  for a very clear Torah view) If you listened to the video above, you'll see how I got my answer. I still don't understand it fully - but I now feel free to go in the direction that G-d is sending me. Qualification - I am not talking here about anything that breaks with Jewish tradition , such a female pulpit Rabbi's.  This inquiry is all with  the boundaries  of Jewish law and Torah guidelines. Read more...

Thursday, January 28, 2016

I Go To the Holy Land

    It's 3:30 am. I'm sitting on the floor of a student center in the Old City of Jerusalem. Only a short while ago the place was buzzing with sounds of life and now all is still. At last I'm writing. But where do I start?                       Read more...

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Snapshots of the Holy Land; Day 5

Morning We're walking down the many steps leading to the kosel. Around 20 students have signed up for Minyan Club. A Minyan is an official prayer service that has the participation of at lest ten men.IMG_9533 On the first day of the trip, Benzion challlenged us. He said, "You don't even know how lucky you are to be in the Old City. You know how the Kosel, gives you  goose bumps you  when you're there, how your feel so close to G-d? Well, you can have that every day!" To join the Minyan club is to say, "I want to get the most I can out of this trip even if it means getting up a little early." You know, how you start your day makes all the difference. Starting out with the Kosel is like dipping in a mikva of love and having the droplets of Hashem's presence with you all day. There was a theme to the morning. Benzion woke the students up by singing in the hallways. I had told the students that I sing my kids awake in the morning, but this was the first time they  expereinced it. We always wake up with song - Modeh Ani -    but I took it for granted. Said Courtney, "If I got woken up like this every morning, I'd be in such a better mood all day!"IMG_9926 Funny, how the its the little things affect us. Another girl, Stephanie,  asked to learn the morning blessings, and later on , at breakfast we learned one of the morning songs the children sing. "Oh every morning, when I'm through sleeping I open up my eyes and say Thank you Hashem, for my Neshama (soul) and for giving me a brand new day" http://youtu.be/pr-o60tRrCo (this song is to  this tune - followed by this version of Modeh Ani) It felt good. after all, here in Israel , and on this trip, we're coming to Judasim with the freshness of youth - of a new perspective. On our way down to the wall we saw little Jerusalem children going to school, the 5 year old walking the 3 year old, holding hands, comfortable with the contrast of their pink knapsacks against the slippery stone. The safety of children in the Old city is almost a given. They are in a haven of goodness, where alarm systems and locked school doors don't exist. We prayed, each at our own pace, and it struck me,, "I'm in a conversation." There's no such thing as the end of a prayer. Am I ever finished thanking G-d? Is there an end to the thing I need from Him? Leaving is just a breakfast, lunch and dinner break - I'll be back tomorrow. IMG_9534         Afternoon- After a morning of thought-provoking classes it was time to go out. As we headed towards the tunnel that lead to our bus,we passed by a man and woman with a cart laden with food. From a glance, it seemed like they had a family celebration planned and they were bringing the food from the market. This was an enormous task and it was probably the cheapest way that the could provide for the event. Many people here don't have cars, they travel by bus and shop in their local mini market. Generally if someone would buy as much as they did, they would come home in a taxi. But not today. Today they pushed the wagon, bumping up and down as it rolled over the worn stone. Bump! With one bump too many, the goods all went rolling, scattering in every direction. In a blink, a flash mob of kindness erupted, and people from all directions came streaming to help him. As they picked up the juice bottles and rolls, we counted ELEVEN people who came to help them! That's what I call The Holy Land Special. Where a stranger is just you, living a different life. israel chesed Evening- Our evening's stop was at the Me'aras Hamachpaila; The place where Adam and Eve, Abraham, Sara, Issac and Rebecca, Jacob and Leah are buried. It's a funny thing here in Israel - you go to graves. We're intimate with the dead. Especially our great ones. They live on in the wisdom they taught us and in the example that informs our daily life. Going to a gravesite as an activity sounds morbid - but in fact its a festive, hopeful occasion! When we were in Tsfat there was live music playing at the top of the cemetery hill! And that's not at all unusual. When we were at the Tomb of Rachel, the wife of Akiva, there was snacks and nuts put out for us to enjoy. I wouldn't say it's a light atmosphere, but it's a unifying, hopeful feeling being there. Prayer has been a theme on this trip. Which isn't to say that the students aren't enjoying each others company and a good beer. Or that there isn't singing, laughing, and joking. But when I analyze it, it's the times of prayer, with the morning start by the Wall, that have opened this up to be a hugely connecting experience.       Read more...

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Cartoons That Make You Smarter

For too many reasons to count, my favorite place in the whole world is the Old City of Jerusalem. If I just sit still for a moment I am back there; Jews from every country and ethnicity converging together, tasting ice cream and falafel and most of all tasting home. Everyone there is family and every stone is the story of your life. It was there that I met David Aaron. Well, I didn't actually meet him in person then - that would come years later. There, I met him through his book, The G-d Powered Life. In the mystical ways of Old Jerusalem, I happened upon a man who happened to be his student who happened to have his books available and I happened to fall in love with them. In a small nook on an ancient stone bench I read. And read. And read. And none of what I read felt new. But all of it made me feel new. It's like when your brain is oxygenated. You have clarity. Everything is sharp. Your mind is on fire and you know exactly what to do next. I bought ten books. I gave away nine. I have lent out the one copy that I have left too many times to count. I even brought it with me when I went to train as a Life Coach. The training was on Shabbos and I wanted some Torah to learn. Over lunch break I sat with my fellow CTI members and we learned Kabbalah as explained by Rabbi David Aaron. And now he has blown me away again. Constantly changing, constantly producing - he has found a new way to teach and it's powerful! By using animation to illustrate the deepest concepts, it clicks effortlessly with your psyche. Cartoons are cool, cartoons are fun, and now, cartoons are really, really deep and mind blowing! After a 3 minute video you can magically and effortlessly explain and understand G-d, the meaning of life and life after death. Don't believe me? Watch them and see! One thing that I love about Rabbi Aaron's work is that its universal. It speaks to everyone. I mean, how many Rabbis can speak about Kabbalah on  E! Entertainment! That's how truth works. It resonates with everyone. Watch Rabbi Aaron's videos - you'll love his work and be amazed at how much it all makes gorgeous exquisite sense. I posted a lot here in case you are snowed in:) Visit to his website for many more. PS. I would highly recommend his book the G-d Powered Life. If I ever have an online store - that book is going to be in it! PPS. I showed some of these to my kids - what a great learning tool! The depth kind of went over their heads but the message is there for when they need it. Post below which video was your favorite and why!   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQAq0CBzkng https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLNfRL3eXTE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAPElBpjHTU   More about Rabbi Aaron ( taken from his site RabbiDavid Aaron.comRabbi David Aaron Rivka Malka Rabbi David Aaron is a spiritual visionary and master educator who has invested over 3 decades delving into life’s BIGGEST question marks and sharing Torah’s transformational wisdom to adults and young adults. He has emerged as the ‘God expert’  simply because he has dared to ask and answer the most difficult questions that he/ALL people have and/or struggle with about God’s existence and their own. Rabbi David Aaron gently urges us to take a look at the self-defeating and silly notions we carry about ourselves and God. His wit lets our inner child listen while our critical mind begins to perceive a profound new world. Disarmed by Rabbi Aaron’s exhilarating undeniable clarity, we dare to look at our deepest assumptions, doubts and fears and challenge our paradigms of belief. Amazingly, we discover that our changing view of God and ourselves gives us access to reserves of personal power we never experienced before.  And new doorways open in our loving relationships. As a child of a holocaust survivor, Rabbi Aaron has struggled to erase his childhood image of God as a punishing old man in the clouds, waiting for us to fail.  As we identify with his tales of trying to “buy off” the ultimate doom, we realize that our childish fears and images sometimes rule our deepest thoughts. Rabbi Aaron teases us into letting go, if only for a moment, of our unspoken disappointments with God and ourselves. He slowly peels away the layers of confusion and mis-education and offers us a glimpse of the joy and personal power that a true, working belief in God and ourselves can provide. Learning with Rabbi Aaron is both profoundly moving and entertaining. People at every level of spiritual knowledge and practice enjoy the adventure of peeking around the corners of mystical ideas. Finding answers to our big questions begins a process that is life–changing.
His books which have been published by major publishing houses including Random House and Putnam have reached more than 200,000 people worldwide. He has taught thousands of students and reached millions through appearances on programs including Larry King Live and E! Entertainment. Rabbi Aaron received Semicha from the Israel Torah Research Institute, Yeshivat Itri, and is a disciple of the distinguished Dayan Rav Shlomo Fischer, Shlita. He lives in Jerusalem with his wife, Chana, and their seven children.
Read more...

Cartoons That Make You Smarter

Animation For too many reasons to count, my favorite place in the whole world is the Old City of Jerusalem. If I just sit still for a moment I am back there; Jews from every country and ethnicity converging together, tasting ice cream and falafel and most of all tasting home. Everyone there is family and every stone is the story of your life. It was there that I met David Aaron. Well, I didn't actually meet him in person then - that would come years later. There, I met him through his book, The G-d Powered Life. In the mystical ways of Old Jerusalem, I happened upon a man who happened to be his student who happened to have his books available and I happened to fall in love with them. In a small nook on an ancient stone bench I read. And read. And read. And none of what I read felt new. But all of it made me feel new. It's like when your brain is oxygenated. You have clarity. Everything is sharp. Your mind is on fire and you know exactly what to do next. I bought ten books. I gave away nine. I have lent out the one copy that I have left too many times to count. I even brought it with me when I went to train as a Life Coach. The training was on Shabbos and I wanted some Torah to learn. Over lunch break I sat with my fellow CTI members and we learned Kabbalah as explained by Rabbi David Aaron. And now he has blown me away again. Constantly changing, constantly producing, he has found a new way to teach and it's powerful! By using animation to illustrate the deepest concepts, it clicks effortlessly into your psyche. Cartoons are cool, cartoons are fun, and now, cartoons are really, really deep and mind blowing! After a 3 minute video you can magically and effortlessly explain and understand G-d, the meaning of life and life after death. Don't believe me? Watch them and see! One thing that I love about Rabbi Aaron's work is that its Universal. It speaks to everyone. I mean, how many Rabbis can speak about Kabbalah on E! Entertainment! That's how truth works. It resonates with everyone. Watch Rabbi Aaron's videos - you'll love his work and be amazed at how much it all makes gorgeous exquisite sense. I posted a lot here in case you are snowed in:) Visit to his website for many more. PS. I would highly recommend his book the G-d Powered Life. If I ever have an online store - that book is going to be in it! PPS. I showed some of these to my kids - what a great learning tool! The depth kind of went over their heads but the message is there for when they need it. After you watch the videos leave a comment and let me know which was your favorite!  

from RivkaMalka.comRivkaMalka.com http://ift.tt/1UoyrLs

Monday, January 25, 2016

My Speech Under the Western Wall

  This video is raw footage taken right before we entered the area that is directly parallel to the Holy of  Holies. Before we got there, we took sometime to prepare ourselves - to notice where we were - and it made all the difference. https://youtu.be/Nw3wKxyt3FE Read more...

Sunday, January 24, 2016

How To Make Friends

isolation       "...And the biggest lie of all, is that we tell ourselves we don't need friends." ( A personal quote from a talk I gave recently.) I was not totally surprised, but still taken aback at the amount of feedback related directly to that comment. We lead these unnatural lives going from home, to car, to work, to errands and carpool, speaking to people for the most part in terms of transactions. "How much does this cost?" "Thank you for watching my child" " Can you volunteer for this event?" And the cost is enormous. We're lonely, and isolated and that stunts our social interactions even when we're in a sea of people. I've been through many evolutions with the topic of friends, growing with it as I get older. I share it with you here, because maybe we're not that different from one another.                                                                                                        friendshipI've always been  surrounded by people and involved in community.  But  being with people and developing intimate relationships is not the same thing. How do we go from interacting with dozens of people each day to creating meaningful relationships? [Note to dear old friends - This is a generalization. Thank G-d, I've been blessed to have you in my life and as I've grown, my ability to be a friend has grown too.]                                                                                   It took me  a long time to learn. Many of my old relationships were  lopsided. I would either be friends with lovely people but not share myself fully, thinking they would never understand me. (Yup, trust issues there.) Or, exclusively  befriend people who I could give to. trust (Again, trust issues - I could give to someone without having to share myself.) Around ten years ago, my newly widowed sister in law, Chev, moved to Baltimore so that she could be near family. Being in her presence,  basking in that  unconditional,  respectful, deeply intimate relationship opened things up for me. I began to be willing to relate at a deeper level, to bring more of myself to the friendship then a plate of cookies. However, after being gifted that lesson,  two years later she got married to her amazing husband, Paul and moved away to South Africa. So there I was. And I needed to make friends. And I was ready. coggee dateI began making coffee dates. I realized that one of the reasons (aside for deep familial love) that my friendship with Chev grew was because we spent every Shabbos together. I needed to physically spend time with people if I was going to become friends with them. So onwards I forged. If I had a great conversation with someone I would invite them out for a coffee sometime the next week. At the time it took a lot of courage. How'd it go? Okay. The coffee dates were nice enough but I forgot something key - you have to get together a second time! Somehow I just thought a friendship would morph straight  from the muffins at the bagel shop. That's not how it works. I still have a special connection with the people I spent time with, but we didn't ever explore the relationship further. Then I met Aviva. Her kids were homeschooling at the time and it was the first I'd ever heard of it. My heart was exploding with the idea. I called her the next day and asked her for information. And the next and the next. I began to home-school my kids. I would have done with her the same as I did with my other new friends; lost touch, not taken it further. Except, that one fine day she knocked on the door, came over with her (then) 6 kids and spent the afternoon. And a day or two later she invited my kids over.friends talking I mean it when I say this, if she would not have made the effort our new friendship would have withered away into nothingness instead of lasting for all these years. I learned so much from that.                                                                                  Which brings me up to date. These days G-d has brought amazing people into my life. The experience of being in a true friendship has opened me up to all types of people and has made me willing to trust  more. What I still need to work on is a new trap that I've fallen into; Being busy. Which is kind of where I think a lot of us are. We're doing so much that investing in friendships take a back seat. But we need it. A  friend is an invaluable commodity, sharing our lives is natural and important.                                                                                       It takes a looong time to realize we're not in high school anymore and you have to go out of your way to make friends. Don't be shy to say to yourself, "I want to make more friends." This is really important stuff!

Below is the  technical guide. The real  first step is that you have to be the best you can be; a loving, non judgmental, caring, positive person with room in your heart for another. That's a whole other discussion.

 

How to Make Friends In busy Community Life

1.  Train yourself to have a good eye.Look for the positive traits in other people, comment on them. Look for the positive traits in yourself, enjoy them. 2. Take note of which traits you value. 3. Look for people with those traits. 4. When you find them, strike up a conversation. Be sincerely interested. Ask questions and listen to the answers. Share a little bit of yourself (that's the trust part) and see how it goes. * Here's where friendship and  a date differ. You don't have to have an immediate click in order to pursue a friendship. You're not looking for romance, you're looking for someone you can trust, a good person. 5.Pursue the friendship; Give them a Good Shabbos call, posting on their FB wall doesn't count. Invite them over or visit them. Bring over random flowers or a lovely scented candle.If there's something you both like - offer to do it together. How about learning Torah or taking a power walk together?gift It make seem awkward, but that's how it's done. To get to know a person takes actual time investment. Above all, in these fast paced times, don't wait for a better time to pursue a friendship. There is no better time. The time is now:)                                                                              

And this is it. My simple recipe for friendship. Find good people, have courage, and spend time with them.

I always think as I stand on the elevator, "We think we're strangers, but if we were stuck here together, after just a few hours we'd be good friends."

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Saturday, January 23, 2016

My Child Saw Porn Pt 2 - The Practical

Did I mention yet how much I cringed when I titled this post and the last. Using that P word is so ugly - it's a word that's dripping with vulgarism and yet its the accurate word to describe what went on. [Click here for the post about it] Awful as it was, I'm glad I wrote it. taboo I'm glad I grew up without taboos -  Judaism and life are just layers of one fabric and we approach both simultaneously with G-d's will as the guiding force. What does G-d want? How does He want us to navigate this world of technology? The answer, I believe is different for everyone. The main thing is to ask the question. We can't let this thing of tremendous power in our lives step in and take over without first deciding whether and where it's welcome. Let's talk about our kids and technology. It's a big conversation. But I figure I'll go first and tell you my approach as it relates to children.I'd love to hear yours. My kids ages are 5, 6, 10, 11,13, 14, 15 and 17. The way we see it, there are 4 things kids do with the computer. 1. Schoolwork 2. Emaione computerl 3.Games 4. Interesting and or educational websites. As far as schoolwork goes our kids have to do what they have to do. Usually it's not much more than writing out a report. One son has a teacher that has them doing these 6 hour lab reports on excel. They enjoy all the typing but they're not doing it on their own computer. They use mine. You may think that's inconvenient  It is. But it reminds me of a friend who used to have 5 Tv's. I mean, it's not great when a family sits around watching TV - but at least they're together. Once you start getting more Tv's because it's inconvenient and everyone needs to watch their own show, the whole thing disintegrates. It goes from family entertainment to "me time." And check out where we're at. Now we've gotten to the point where everyone needs their own everything. (Phone, Ipod,  laptop etc) So yes, it's inconvenient, but we believe that having more computers wouldn't solve the issue. It would create new ones. IMG_1068Our oldest daughter, Batya has her own laptop now that she attends an online college. And thank G-d, she uses it wisely. She got it when she was 16, right around that time she also got a phone which was necessary because she began working. She grew up knowing principles about computer use and we trust her. If she gets off balance, being on the computer too much, she reroutes. I'm really glad we waited to give her both the phone and the computer. Email. Our kids all have email accounts and they really enjoy using them to email friends and distant cousins. Our Bubby moved to Israel and my daughter loves keeping in touch with her.  A typical thing you'll hear in my house is "Mommy, can I use the computer?" and I'll say "Yes, for twenty minutes, just email and skype." We have their passwords but unless something is VERY amiss we don't check on them. We look at email at it as less of a necessity for them, but more to get that computer time out of their system. It's a fun little entertainment. One problem is that I don't always keep track of the twenty minutes and it can turn in to 45 minutes in a flash. It's not great. Games. Games are where we're the most strict. Despite all those lovely educational games - there's way more damage possible, then good.              gamers Games are most often a solitary experience, promoting  selfishness, me time and lack of interaction with family members. Games are addictive and they're built to be that way; letting you win just enough that you'll want to play more, but making you lose just enough that it's still a challenge. Games are designed to lure you in to a fake world with graphics and fantasy and keep you there for as long as they can and when it gets boring, have you buy the second addition. Games promote escapism - immersing in a world where you build up points and castles and weapons gear all the while actually building.....NOTHING. You never walk a way from a game having accomplished anything. We actually had a time in our family when I let the kids each have twenty minutes of game time and it was a disaster! Keep gamerin mind I have 8 kids! It became a whole afternoon of  my turn as well as general dissatisfaction. (Parents who like Jump Start and other educational games - I hear  you. They have a place - but remember those are educational tools disguised as games. Most programs  are time draining, exploitative pits disguised as games. And even grown men fall into them.) If this all sounds strong - guess what. It's not even half as strong as I feel! I want great kids- not dead heads! IMG_0846 I was amazed and surprised to see this corroborated by  Rabbi Shimshon Pincus z'l in his book  Nefesh Chaya) He writes that although  movies are a topic in themselves, a worse thing is video games. He writes that the greatest gift that Hashem gave us is Life. By wasting time, putting effort into illusions and fantasy, we are not simply misusing life, we are taking precious moments and throwing them back into G-d's face. Here,  I don't need these. Down the toilet they go. This goes against everything we're trying to instill in the children. Exceptions. Being that games are harmful but not evil there is room for exceptions  For example for a child who is sick in the hospital a feeling of accomplishment may be just what he needs and solitaire is his only option.  A video game would be a great way to ease the loneliness when someone can't be with him. Another example, a working single mother with an only child. There may be times when the child needs to have fun and the mom simply can't be the number one entertainment all day. For us, the exception came when a child of ours was having a terrible time with school, friends and adolescence. We bought her a DS with a game and had her earn additional games with her grades. She was at a very low point and was really struggling. So we offered her some time after to school to use her DS every day and decompress. She sometimes chose to use it later on instead and that was fine. We still didn't want her to be at the computer. One game at a time (while SO uncool!) was a precaution against over preoccupation. Why am I so strict? Actually, if you know me, I'm the last person you'd call strict. We do parties and have a million friends over. The kids often stay up way past their bedtime and have built their own bonfires since they're 6. But this topic is different. In this topic, I'm fighting for their neshama, for their souls and for their character. I need to be strict. And I know that when they grow a little older they will have more independence and will most likely make choices for themselves that have more flexibility to them. But it's my job to set standard in my house. That's why if they're at a friend's house, I don't say a word about them not playing video games. They can and they do. IMG_0878 And if you walk into my house there's a nice likelihood that the kids will ask for your phone because they want to play games on it. I know its out there- but I'd like them to at least have consciousness  about it. Awhile back we bought $70 of toy figurines from the lovely family on a nearby army base. The toys were in such great condition, I had to ask the mother, "why doesn't your son want these?"She said, "Oh, he's bored with them, now he only plays video games." Her son was five!                                                               Not just that but I'm keenly aware that I grew up without these things and I turned out just fine. In fact, if my kids were going through some of the angst that I went though and I didn't have this outlook, I would buy them ten different video games. Anything to quiet the hormonal ups and downs and bring peace to the house. But you know what? I lived. I lived through those years  without all those escapes. And instead I got late nights talking to my mother, endless writing in my diary, self expression through dancing and occasional painting. In short, I had no technology to bury myself in and instead, I found myself. That's what I want for my kids. I believe that one of the main reasons that parents are advocates for their kids having technology is not because its so good for them, but because its easier on the parents. This is a big judgment to make, I know, but I see it even in myself.  When my husband and I go out, we will often put on a movie for the kids - it's so much easier than coming home to the squabbles and getting ten calls while we're gone. I'm not proud to say it, but that's what I do. We're all a work in progress.family trip And how much easier is it to take a family trip when the kids have their ears plugged and their hands busy. Ah - peace. But at what price? At the price of memories, great laughs, pass back the Pringles!  and car games. And kids pick the weirdest times to bring up important subjects, like right when you 're about to exit to your destination. You want to be there for that moment. You don't want to miss it as the child stuffs back in their earplugs (headphones) and stuffs the topic deep into his subconscious to fester and one day explode to the surface.                                                                                   Interesting or Educational Websites. Here's the super tricky part.kids reading books What do you let your kids see? How often? How much freedom do they have? That's for each parent do decide, but the main thing is to have a filter and or monitoring system. Also, I would challenge if anything beats reading a book. A lot has been spoken about filters and they're really important, but as you can see what concerns us more is not just the content but the medium. There are only a few hours left to the day after the children come home from school. Those are our parenting hours. And I know it's hard, and I fall sometimes too, allowing more than I should, we really are all maxed out. But here's our big chance to build relationships, be present and teach them how to be present without needing an outside crutch. How do my kids feel? Overall they understand what we're trying to do. They have varying amounts of frustration because computers are so much fun and they want a piece of the action! It doesn't help that I'm on the computer so many nights! with maturity comes a deeper understanding. I would even dare to say that they occasionally feel lucky. The middle schoolers have the hardest time with our boundaries because it makes them significantly less cool - and that's tough.cool kid But we're still chugging away. It's not easy. I call it barely holding on - there's not much out there that supports this. There are those who don't have internet at all, yes. But among those who do - I haven't heard any of this be much of a topic.                                                                       I really hope this post didn't come out like I'm high on my horse. I'm giving over what I do in response to many discussions that were sparked as a result of the last post. How do you deal with technology in your house?   Read more...

Friday, January 22, 2016

Meet A Woman Brand New To Headcovering

  So I got this email one day from a women who saw my YouTube videos while looking up tichels. She had some questions so we made a date and she came to my house a couple of days later. As you can see in this video - she is WONDERFUL!When I met her I was really surprised to find out that she wasn't religious, but was committed to covering her hair. As with all the other wonderful people I meet I had to capture her on video. I never ended up posting it but when I was watching it today it reminded me of you and how our  neshama is just waiting to be awoken. And how it sings when we pay attention to it. You guys are my  heroes. You know, I'm always working on healthy eating and sometimes it's so hard. And I think to myself, I find this little change hard - just think of the inner strength and conviction of people who make Jewish changes in their life. WOW! https://youtu.be/9vaMWBcnp5U Have you ever had a great experience shaking a lulav with a Chabad Rabbi or attending a Menorah lighting? The idea that they're focusing on is that every mitzvah is a spark and you never know which spark will light up a person's soul. So here is Sharon being all lit up by the mitzvah of modesty. Do you have a  mitzvah? One that grabs you and feels mysteriously  important and yet doable? Read more...

Thursday, January 21, 2016

A Shabbos Miracle

Enjoy this absolutely  visionary film by my brother, Benzion Klatzko. try and follow the story... and the wonderful ending. https://youtu.be/p2mCrWpZr9Q Read more...

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Romance, Intrigue, Drama... Part 1

[The video mistakenly says "Part 2". Please excuse the mistake - this is Part 1.] If you want to celebrate Purim fully - you first need to know what you're celebrating! Sit back and listen to the amazing turn around, romance and drama of the Purim Story! Read more...

Monday, January 18, 2016

Romance, Intrigue, Drama Pt 3!

The story starts to turn around! Here is the final installment of the Purim Story. I can't wait!

 

Read more...

Sunday, January 17, 2016

How to be a Guest at a Seder - Even your Parents!

https://youtu.be/4JaVBVRW5uA     This video is for you. Coming up - How I clean for Pesach and How to Make a Seder for your first time. Please feel free to add whatever you think I left out. Thanks! Read more...

Saturday, January 16, 2016

How to Make Your Seder Special

https://youtu.be/GHQgEptwuqo My friend Rena turned to me the other day and said "We're making a Seder and we have no idea what we're doing!" Yes, you do, my friend. We've been making Seders for over 3,000 years. It may sound daunting, but in fact, you're already a natural! This video covers some fun ides, the basic mission plan and a story to take with you as you embark. Read more...

Friday, January 15, 2016

The Secret

I am one happy girl. Inspired by my brother in law, Sony, who has been living in The Secret for the past three months, I am officially ready for a super amazing, incredible life! Sony has always been awesome, talented, compassionate and slightly nuts. But now, he's all that plus he's HAPPY. I mean happy in a relaxed, feel good good way. Happy in a way that gives him energy, vitality and a shine in his eyes.  He also lost 50 lb's and cut back from 3 jobs to 2 and has started running, skiing and juicing. So of course, I want some of that. I want TONS of it. So I had to watch The Secret. And I did - last night. And I'm psyched. https://youtu.be/Tuc6pEefTms   For the past little while I've been out of sorts. My inner vision had been blurry. Self doubt began to creep into my thoughts, depleting me of energy.  And even  though I'd been going to bed at reasonable hours - I wasn't feeling much better. But I won't dwell on that - because that's not The Secret. I would dwell on it though - in the past. I would ruminate and analyze and fret. No more. Today - I live with happiness, and confidence that all my dreams will come true and the road ahead is paved with blessing beyond my wildest imagination. My home atmosphere is about to get a major upgrade!                                                                     The Secret is not New age wisdom - there are hundreds of places in the Toah that point to this reality, maybe thousands. Many of us have just missed them - we got dragged down by our own negativity. Here are some I thought of. The Lubavitcher Rebbe used to say - and this is a mantra for his Chssidim "think good and it will be good" The Midrash says that in the dessert enough manna fell each day for 2,000 years though the Israelites were only permitted to gather enough for one day - in order to teach us the law of abundance. In Psalms it says, "(You) open your hand and satiate every person's will." (In hebrew, ratzon, your inner desire) when we say blessings, we say them in the present tense - we pray for someone who is sick and then we say G-d, who heals the sick." Rather than, G-d, who will please heal the sick. We have books and books on bitachon - confidence in G-d. And a wonderful book which I highly recommend all about how gratitude is the basis for everything good in our lives, "The Garden of Gratitude." This is just a speck in the ocean - just my mornings thoughts about how I see the secret through the filter of Torah. But truthfully you don't even have to get that deep. Universal truth is simply true.                                                                             Last night I wrote out my vision for what I want - and it was amazingly clear. It turns out I was only unclear when I let the negative thoughts in. Inside, I know what I want. and today, I'll be working on my vision board. I have countless stories to tell you about how The secret works. But I'll stop here and let you watch the movie.... Lets talk again soon. I'll share my stories and I can't wait to hear yours. To be continued.... Read more...

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Bezalel Juices!

  https://youtu.be/W-n9VaaIVXk Well I told you I'd update you on how our juicing is going. Firsts thing you should know - I finished my juice fast. I was on it for Wed, Thurs, and Fri and after light Shabbos eating, I was on it for Sunday and part of Monday. It's been awesome. Over Pesach I weaned myself from Splenda, that used to go in my coffee twice a day. I also started making my coffee half decaf to prepare so the withdrawal wouldn't be so hard. The basic idea of juicing is that  1)it floods your body with vitamins and minerals and brings health and nutrition to your cells at the deepest level. 2) it gives your other organs a chance to detox and heal. they're "on vacation" from digestion.juicer The actual detox reminds me of a trip I took long ago. I had to be out of the country with my three kids by myself for a month. I managed okay. I really thought I was doing great.  But when I got home, I walked into my apartment and burst into tears. All that pent up emotion just burst through. Our bodies, they manage - even when we're rough on them. But when we give them a break, when we stop masking thecompromised state - it bursts into tears. And out comes all the bad stuff.                                                           Day 1 - Felt great. (My husband, had a crashing headache by the end of the day though..) Day 2 - Had a headache, my eyes were hurting, I climbed into bed a few times during the day. It was tough. I was really detoxing. Day 3 - Felt good. My energy was steady and light. My eyes got more clear. I started seeing in HD! Not at all hungry - slight ache in my legs but overall had nice energy. No midday slump! Day 4 - I felt amazing! Alive! It was Shabbos so I had to eat. I had matzah and chicken soup and some veggie's and a small portion of fruit.  I walked an easy two miles. Day 5 - My energy was so great. It filled me with lightness and motivation. I started my day at 7:30 am, ran around with the kids all day and still felt amazing! In terms of hunger though, it was a harder day because my body got used to food over Shabbos. But I was told to expect it so it was ok Day 6  - I felt amazing.... but hungry. Midday I ate. I think if I would have held out until the day was over, the hunger would have passed and my body would have adjusted. I feel ok with it though.                                                     Today is Day 7. Today is where the real work begins, making better food choices. I have been avoiding flour and sugar (aside from Shabbos matzah) for about 3 years, but my body was still not responding well to the foods I was eating. Even a meal of cooked veggie's could sometimes exhaust me, sending me for a nap midday or a slump after dinner. When we were putting back the food in the pantry after Passover, the foods that were highly processed and had chemicals or white flour I just didn't want. It's an interesting thing and its teaching me a lot about how people work. My own neighbor has spoken to me about Diet Coke and other products, but it was just a conversation - nothing I was ready to hear. I wanted small stepsmy Diet Coke! Its only now that I'm ready that I can make  changes. And even now - I'm not fully open. I know that there are many levels of clean and healthful eating, but I'm taking it one step at a time. What stuck with me from the video's that  I watched (Fat, Sick and Nearly dead and Hungry For Change) was two bits of info that I had never really integrated. First of all, the idea that every single fruit and vegetable has tremendous nutritional value. though I'm stating the obvious, it wasn't until I saw the vitamin chart that I realized that even something as light and humble as a piece of celery or an onion gives us so much. http://www.rebootwithjoe.com/eating/a-z-fruit-veggies/veggies Secondly, the idea of chemicals and  how they sit in our body potentially   messing around with our cells and our well  bring; their link to cancer. I learned that aloe and chia seeds are some of the few things that will bind to the chemicals and release them from your body. I was pleasantly surprised to find that shopper's, a local supermarket sells individual aloe leaves. So what did I eat today? I ate lightly, an orange, peanuts, and 2 Juices, later on I had 2 healthy granola - date bars. (Each juice is like a large salad) The interesting part is that I've dieted before and I've  been on a no flour, no sugar food plan for a while, but this is a whole new message for my brain. It's not at all about deprivation or limits. Eating smaller quantities and raw fruits and veggies is a way of taking care of myself, because I want to feel good. And digesting your food takes a lot of energy for your body! that's energy that I really want to have. Having felt what it was like I don't want to lose it. My friend Leah came over and made a video with me which I'll put up soon. One thing she said to me that struck me was "People are often vegetarians because they care so much about animals. Isn't caring about ourselves important too?"                                                              Side benefits - 1.My son who would rather starve than eat something thats not pizza has started taking apples to school (as he proudly tells me.) 2.No guilt about what I buy in the supermarket. 3.I walked into the office and my friend Vicki said "you lost weight!" that's always nice :) 4. My eyesight is incredible - the world is just so pretty. 5. I'm off of caffeine and I'm liking this calmer person that I am. feeling great                                                       

Juice Recipes

Green Dream

1 bunch kale 1 apple 1 lemon 1 zuchinni (optional) small slice of ginger  

 Sunny Day

2 carrots 1 orange 1 lemon 1 celery (optional) slice of aloe vera For tons of juice recipes,  salads and great articles to get started on eating healthier, click HERE juicing Thanks to all my Fb friends for your advice and encouragement!               Read more...